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Ideasat3AM

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16, ever again [Mar. 24th, 2007|09:08 pm]
Ideasat3AM
I realised I stopped typing a while back.

Well, lately I have been feeling as if something is weighing me down all over again.

Sometimes I can't remember if its because I know what will happen and, its as i I am already planning my exit. While you, the sole wanderer is clinging onto someone's shadow.

I don't know.

It is almost funny to notice that I did not ever hit the sixteenth entry before I couldn't take writing everything down because I am always unable to express things in a manner that I am able to remember; where reading it will just rekindle every single feeling I felt during any such moment.

***

Sometimes I wander if you've forgotten about me when I see you along the corridor. I still feel that you're someone special but I just simply cannot find the strength to open my eyes and realise something that is before me because I know I will never be able to cope with letting you in right now. You are someone wonderful I just want to keep and no matter how selfish it may seem. I need to take things so slowly, maybe you will never realise I still feel the same way as I always have.

Sometimes I feel bad that I never seem to show that it matters or that I'm glad that you're there and that I'm always so quiet about things that do matter.

I don't really know.

***

All I am thinking is of tomorrow. Is, of the future. Because I really wouldn't want to ever ever look back and regret that all through this, and that is all that I have become.

It may be weak to think of the future and not now. Not live a day at its time, because I am constantly pulling something so weak that I need to achieve to make me feel whole because it will change so much, yet retain so much.

So much in life I want.

So much I need to sacrifice.

I just need this year and I will promise I will truly be who I am after I have finished this task.
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